Letter #3 | lessons learned in quarter 1, a survivors guilt saga

A letter from Ruby, a reflection on Quarter 1 and whats changing in Quarter 2

💛Hello Friend :)

Happy New Quarter, Happy new month!! Can you believe we’re already in April!

📩 If You’re New Here…

I’m Ruby (nice to meet you!), brain cancer researcher/ neuro nerd turned entrepreneur, now full time investor and venture capitalist.

This space, The Rise letters, is for me to reflect, journal, and share what I’m learning in real time. No filters. No facades. Just the honest evolution of a woman (me) on her journey to rise to her fullest potential.

If this is your first time here, catch up on:
📖 Letter #1 – The comeback, the background, the reintroduction, the intentions of TheRise
📖 Letter #2 – My 2024 recap: the year I stopped building and finally started living

Letter #3 Overview

Today’s letter is a review on Quarter 1— I’ve been doing these reflections, I call quarterly reports for years—personally, with my friends, my team, and my family. But today, I’m sharing it with you! This letter might be longer, feel free to come back to it if you don’t have time.

Before we dive into the deep stuff, I want to hear from you too:

• What were your biggest wins of the quarter?

• What made you smile?

• What’s one lesson you’re carrying into Q2?

I’ll be reflecting on these in this letter, but I’d love for you to join me.
Drop your answers in the comments or DM me privately if that feels better.

And if you like this type of letter, let me know!

We might just make these letters a quarterly thing.

2025 Intentions

Before we dive into Q1 reflections, let’s anchor in what hasn’t changed:
My focus this year remains centered around three pillars—Wealth, Wellness, and Wisdom. These are the foundations I’ve built my life on.

Wealth

• Investing and Acquiring new businesses. Follow my 2025 trading plan (forex, futures, options) . Building smart, not loud. Giving more than I ever have before.

Wellness

• Wellness for me is wholeness… tending to every area of my life, being my best self and living my best life and of course my health. Working out 5x a week, eating whole foods, drinking my body weight in ounces daily, and hitting my protein goals.

Wisdom

• I read the entire bible yearly, focusing on a study of a book of the bible weekly. Also leading a small group at my church currently! I’ve been Reading 2- 3 books a month, I’ll continue to share the ones that I really love in the “Ruby’s Recs” section down below (There’s a new addition to the list) . And lastly, building a daily writing habit.

All in all the goal is to do more of what I love, less of what I don't.

So how did it go in Quarter 1?

📌 Quarter 1 Reflection: Big Wins

Big wins, small wins, and everything in between. 🎉

Quarter 1 Dump

Q’1 looked very different for me. For the first time in a long time, the start of the year wasn’t full of a whole bunch of international trips. Last year by end of March, I had already been to 6 countries, most for leisure some for work.

So yea, It was the same as usual, it was the most stationary I’ve been to start a year in a while. Not because I couldn’t travel… but because I chose not to.

I made a decision to hold off on leisure and business travel to start the year and This year just feels more rooted. More focused. And honestly? I’ve been loving it. I’ve loved being able to stick to a routine, being able to have some consistency in my days and have been really enjoying Atlanta!

Here are some of the moments, milestones, and memories that made Q1 meaningful:

• Miami, NYC, DC Trips

• Girls Trip for Kayla’s 30th! We had so much fun! (posted a dump on IG)

• Engagements: Two of my close friends got engaged!!

• Celebrated my dad’s birthday and Surprised my little brother Raz at his high school play (he had a lead role, so proud!)

• Three new businesses in the pipeline for my portfolio company and an opportunity for a major investment into a brand I really love

• Fell in love with hot Pilates and solidified my daily routines for the year!

• Started leading a small group at my church with my friend Olivia

And the most beautiful part?

It’s been full—without being busy.

This year’s focus is truly about doing more of what I love and ruthlessly eliminating everything that I don’t!

📌 What I Learned in Q1

Now onto my favorite part of any quarterly report: the lessons.

Because I journal almost daily, I always come back to the themes that keep resurfacing.
I typically pick three standout lessons that define the quarter for me, and then keep a running list of smaller insights, notes to self, reminders, mindset shifts I want to carry into the next season.

Let’s start with a few of those rapid-fire takeaways:

💡 Mini Lessons from Q1

🧠 Less really is more
📉 Doing doesn’t always equal progress
🛠 You don’t need more discipline—you need better design
📖 Most of my breakthroughs came from systems, silence, scripture, stewardship, and structure.

Now, let’s get into the big ones—the lessons that left a mark. The ones I’ll remember this quarter for:

Lesson 1: Survivors Guilt — the Saga

I recently posted a TikTok (I know suprising loll) that captured a realization I didn’t have words for until recently.

Survivors Guilt

🎥 [Watch the full TikTok here]

In short: I made millions in my early 20s. I bought my dream home. My dream cars. Started and invested in businesses. Built my portfolio.

I helped a lot of people—friends, family, people I loved. Even taught thousands of people and shared everything I knew online.

And then...
I disappeared.

“Success” can be beautiful. But it can also be heavy.
And it took me a while to realize that both can be true at the same time.

No one really talks about what happens after the win:

• After the milestones are crossed

• After the financial goals are hit… almost a decade earlier than expected

• After the plans you’ve made actually becomes your reality

You don’t expect to feel stuck.
Or isolated.

You don’t expect the celebration to feel quiet.
You don’t expect to feel… guilty.

But that’s what success can do when it comes too fast… or when you carry it alone.

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📌 In Q1, I finally recognized something that was holding me back: The why behind my inconsistencies.

Living a “life I love” didn’t make me feel lighter. It made me feel guilty. I felt survivor’s guilt.

This is something I’ve never heard people talk about—at least not in the context of success… usually it’s related to death.

After reaching a level of financial freedom most people in their 20s only dream of… I hit a wall.

Not because I wasn’t grateful. Not because I couldn’t or didn’t want to do more.

I felt Guilty. Guilty for being the one who made it. Guilty for having what others were still praying for. Guilty for no longer needing to hustle like I used to. Guilty for living in abundance when the people around me were still just trying to survive.

Then that made me feel responsible, responsible for everyone around me, and then soon I wasn’t able to hold the weight of everyone else.

Instead of feeling free, I started feeling small.
Like I had to shrink.
Like I couldn’t share.
Like my life might make others uncomfortable.

And that’s when I realized: Survivor’s guilt is real—even in terms of just success.

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💎 Lesson 2: Shrinking Doesn’t Make You Humble… it makes you small.

Let’s go deeper.

That guilt? It didn’t just silence me. It eventually convinced me to disappear.

I believed what many people quietly believe: That once you “make it,” you just bow out quietly.

So I did what a lot of people do—but rarely admit:

I disappeared. I stopped posting. I buried my wins. I told myself, “maybe this is enough”. I lived like there was a ceiling on what I was allowed to have.

I convinced myself that too much success, too much freedom, too much joy… might be too much.

Especially when everyone around me was still building, grinding, and figuring it out.

But the guilt didn’t come from doing something wrong. It came from doing the right things right.

And here’s what I’ve learned:

💎Shrinking doesn’t make you more humble… it just makes you smaller.
💎Playing small doesn’t protect anyone… it just keeps you from expanding.

I’m Over It Now.

I’ve spent too much of my life minimizing myself to make others feel comfortable.
And in doing that, I prevented myself from (rising) to my fullest potential.

So I made a decision in quarter 1… I will let my rise be a reminder of what’s possible, not something I hide, and I’ll boldly, proudly reach for the next level.

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Lesson 3 : I don’t want to be an influencer…

Yes, I’ll say it again: I have zero desire to be an influencer.

This has been an ongoing internal struggle for me. But Quarter 1 made it undeniable.

It took me a while to fully admit it, because let’s be honest, in today’s world, it feels like everyone is a content creator.

Social media has replaced TV. We spend more time on our phones than anything else. One video going viral can change someone’s whole entire life, It just… makes sense.

It looks like the path, and the reality is it is the path for some people… I have so much love and respect for my friends who do it full-time, it’s a lot, it’s strategy, it’s creativity, it’s constant visibility, its — real work.

But I’ve realized, it’s not my path… And truthfully? I’ve become more private. There’s peace in privacy. And I’ve learned to value that. I’m grateful for it.

I don’t want to perform.
I don’t want to chase virality.
I don’t want my value tied to visibility.
I don’t want views to determine my success.

I don’t want to entertain and I don’t want my life to be entertainment and to be completely honest, I simply don’t want to create content lol.

It’s actually one of my least favorite things to do. So of course, there’s a reason why I felt unaligned…. I just don’t like the new world of influencing.

I love building, scaling and advising in businesses. I love acquiring new businesses. I love investing. I love reading articles and books and papers and writing. I love economics, and science and math. I love learning and researching and analyzing. I love operating behind the scenes.
Yup… not sexy, not cool, not aesthetically pleasing… but it’s me. Simply put.. I’m a nerd. loll And truthfully? I don’t even like social media. (More on that in a future letter.)

But here’s the thing...

YouTube used to be different for me.

YouTube used to be my space, it was different for me, where I could be myself, I could nerd out, I could educate, encourage, and empower. I loved being able to share what works for me and seeing people implement it. It was really something I enjoyed..

Somewhere along the way, with the rise of “influencer culture,” I started to feel like it needed to be about what was trending.

About lifestyle, about the aesthetic. Somewhere along the way, the pressure to be seen and popular, diluted the reason why I did youtube to begin with.

Here’s what shifted:

• The pressure to be seen started to dilute the reason I started in the first place.

• I began creating based on what the algorithm would reward, rather than what I was truly called to say.

• I started creating what I thought people wanted, instead of what I needed to express.

So now? I’m going back to my roots.

Sharing. Creating. Documenting. Teaching.

I don’t want to be an influencer but There’s still space for me to do what I love. To teach, to pour, to document, to express myself—but on my terms.

So yes—YouTube is coming back.

And yes… I know, I probably sound like the girl who cried wolf. I’ve said it before. I’ve tried to come back before. But this time, I’m hoping it will be different.

Now, There’s no pressure. No filming schedule. No content calendar. No chasing an algorithm. Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m going to talk about yet (lol).
But, I’m excited to share again—in my own way.

First video back will be a Q+A: Drop any questions you have in the comments—and I’ll do my best to answer them in my comeback video. 💛

📌 Coming Up Next in Letter #3…

The next letter, we are going to keep the convo going, I’m talking all things social media —

• my issues with social media, and how it affects the brain

• the pros and cons

• how I plan to repair my relationship and be offline but online

This next letter is gonna get deep..

🌱#TheRiseRewards

• Shhh! Most people don’t make it all the way to the end, so your chances of winning are pretty high! If you’ve made it to this point and would like to enter into the giveaway:

  1. Leave a comment on this post! Button below if you’re reading via email.

  2. Tag me on your Instagram story showing that you’re reading the third rise letter! instagram @lavishruby #TheRiseLetters.

Quarter 1 winners: OliviaHiggins1, Sasha1203, thecuratedcorner (Please dm me!)

🌱 #RubysRecs

📖 Build the Life You Want by Arthur C Brooks – My 2024 Book of the Year | It’s not just motivational—it’s deeply practical. It shifted the way I approach happiness, habits, and personal fulfillment.

📖 The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry – This book is a gentle but firm reminder to slow down, disconnect from hustle culture, and realign with the pace of purpose. A life-changer.

💰 Stash – Easy investing for beginners. If you’ve been waiting for a sign to start investing, this is it. Stash helps you automate your investing strategy and stay consistent—even if you're just starting. Get $30 free to invest when you sign up [here].

💰 Ibotta – Passive income. Free cashback on things you're already buying Effortless rewards. Just connect your card and Dosh automatically gives you cashback when you shop at partnered retailers. No codes, no coupons—just passive money. Get $10 free here.

Until next time!! I hope you have room to Rise!

with love, peace and many blessings,

- Your friend Ruby :)

Letter #1 | Welcome to TheRise!

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Letter #2 | Finally living a life I LOVE...